January 2010
14 posts
“Text like everyone on the bus hates you, dance like you drunkenly lost a...”
– Twitter / Uncle Dynamite
“Weight-loss tip: eat only half of what’s on your plate. Take the other...”
– Twitter / Adam Lisagor
“She’s a bitch, but guys still bother because she’s got a great ass....”
– Twitter / Joe Schmitt
“Congress outlaws fountain of youth due to pressure from powerful casket lobby.”
– Twitter / Avery Edison
Hi, it's Richard.
rsmallbone:
Just calling to let you know that your ass looks fabulous in those jeans.
Have you lost weight? Been working out? Yeah, you can really tell.
You know, you’re one of those people who can be TOO good-looking when you really put it on, but I think you’ve tempered it nicely so it’s obvious that you’re still the most attractive person in the room without making everyone else feel bad....
“Nein, ich hatte leider nie ein Mofa. Aber ich hieß mal eine Zeit lang so. Zählt...”
– Twitter / Stefanie Saier
“Manche Menschen sind wie Sandbänke. Man läuft ständig auf.”
– Twitter / Mona-Liesbeth
